// I really do hate to admit it….//

I feel so powerless…I may seem like i know what I’m doing in my relationship, but i don’t. I may vent, scream, yelling, bitch at him but at the very end he has the upper hand cause i love him dearly. I’ll always give in and say sorry my fault or not. I would always try to make a point, but I always give in to him. I’ll put up a fight but always failed at the end. I’ve always tried to be a strong woman, sadly I couldn’t and I hate that feeling that I need him or I’ll die. Only a few know why I’m like that. All I ask for is a little bit more time with him and he seems to find things to do reduce that time we have together. Everyday I want to take him out to eat or go some where special because I want him to feel cared for. But now ever since hes going to gym now it doesn’t seem like we will ever have that time to spend together.Yes I’m very happy that he is taking care of himself, but it just sucks cuz I wait for him even longer and before he was working on his car. I have this routine I do everyday:

1.Wake up @6, he takes me home

2.sleep a little more, wake up take thanh to school

3.get back then get ready for school

4. leave for school

5. few hours come back home and do hw or w.e else to do

6. Finish with everything and now wait.

7. I can wait up to 8 hours for him if i have nothing to do for the day. 

Now that is if he gets off at the right time if not the adds on an hour or 2 more. There are days where I bug my little brother so time can go faster. Pathetic right? =/. 

I may see him everyday but what do we do together nothing really. By that time its late when he comes over and all we do is sit there and watch TV and I’m always the first to fall asleep and we barely exchange the words within another. 

My little brother just noticed it yesterday that I was literally waiting for my bf in his room and I was consistently looking out the window for him. He was pretty shocked that I was looking out that window just waiting for him like there was no tomorrow. He asked me ” Why don’t I do something else while waiting for him?” I answered him “there nothing else I want to do but to be with him right now.” So i continued waiting until he came. I’ve been doing this for 3 years already and we’ve been together for 4 years. I’ve waited for him for thousands of hours already and I will continue to wait for him till death do us part.